


To Taste Determination

by love_in_the_stars



Series: Snapshots [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Not A Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-19
Updated: 2011-03-19
Packaged: 2017-12-06 15:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_in_the_stars/pseuds/love_in_the_stars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six deaths Sam cried to and the one he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Taste Determination

**Author's Note:**

> Table: #1-Elemental  
> Prompt #6: Tears  
> Spoilers: Season 5.

Sam was too young to even remember anything about his mother, let alone cry over her death. That didn't stop him, of course. Because Sam saw all the other children and how they interacted with their mothers and it made him miss her with an acute pain. That only grew worse when he learned that she was the first person to die for him.

When Jessica died, Sam cried for weeks and because she was his first love he never truly recovered. She was the second person to die because of him.

Their father was the next person he lost and it hurt just as badly as losing Jessica had and he cried only slightly less. He had never gotten along well with John, they were just too similar, but Sam still loved him. Loved him so much. And he knows now, that John had only ever done his best to do what he could for his boys. Giving his life for Dean's was only what John had thought was best. He knew that Sam couldn't survive without his brother and he knew that what Sam really needed was Dean, not him. He knew that Sam would need all the protection and love that Dean had for him if he was to survive through the mess that was coming next. He knew all this and now Sam understands too. Their father was the third person to die for him.

Then, despite their father's sacrifice, Sam died anyway. Stricken and lost without Sam, Dean took a page out of John's book and sold his soul to get his baby brother back. After learning what Dean had done for him, Sam felt worse then ever. He was now going to lose his brother and Dean seemed to think Sam was strong enough to handle that but he knew the truth. Their father was right, Sam would be ruined without Dean. He cried at just the thought.

Following the truth, their friend the Trickster took it upon himself to show Sam exactly what would happen when Dean died. Sam was horrified at what he had become without Dean by his side and despite the Trickster's words about just letting Dean go, Sam became even more determined to stop it.

No matter what he did though, Dean still died and became the fourth person to die for him. Sam was just as lost as he suspected he would be, completely clueless about what to do now that he was all alone. And so when Ruby slithered in and offered him a path, Sam took it with the desperation of the broken. She became his only support and under her control Sam lost himself.

Not even Dean's return could fix what had broken inside of Sam and his new path chosen by Ruby, ended when he broke the world. When he let loose the greatest evil known to man and finally realized the truth. It all came back to him. Everyone died because of him and so Sam made it his new and only mandate to not let another person die. If that meant saving the world, then so be it.

And he succeeded for a little while, until suddenly he failed twice in one moment. Ellen and Jo. Two of their rag-tag little family sacrificed themselves to stop the devil and they all failed. Lucifer walked away even more empowered and Sam and Dean were left even more devastated. He cried for more then just their deaths this time, he also cried for their lives. They were the fifth and sixth people to die because of him.

Sam began to slowly spiral downwards again as he watched his brother die from the inside and their angel Fall rapidly. They could take a half-step forward only to have the apocalypse jump three steps ahead. It seemed that no matter what he tried, Sam couldn't fix anything.

Then, help appeared in the unassuming form of someone who had tormented them since the beginning. Gabriel. The Trickster. The same person Sam had hunted for three solid months with a cold determination. That was forgotten then as Gabriel squared off against the devil just to give them chance to escape.

Gabriel was the seventh sacrifice and Sam did not cry. Refused to because too many people have died for him and he was going to put a stop to this. Right now. No one else was going to die, even if he himself had to just to make it all stop.

Sam would be the final sacrifice, everything would become full circle and the world would stop ending because Sam will finally be where he belonged.


End file.
